David Bloodgood, Ph. D

There are many therapists in Orlando and Winter Park who will be quick to give you an answer to this question.  I’m not one of them.  Often couples will call and ask before they come in— will  I tell them if their relationship is salvageable or even worth saving?   I have seen relationships that appeared mutually damaging, incredibly painful, and seemingly beyond reconciliation, yet they continue–with and sometimes without healing.  On other occasions, relationships that seemed relatively healthy and satisfying end over what seem to be trivial issues that could be easily resolved.

The only thing I can be certain of is that I have no way of knowing what you should do with your relationship, and definitely  have no business suggesting that a couple should end a relationship. What I can usually do is help both of you determine what would make the relationship healthier, stronger, and more satisfying.  We can work together to find methods that would make that goal take place.  At that point, it is up to each of you to assess the likelihood of the changes being made, and decide  what your personal commitment is to changing your part in the dynamic.

There’s no question that some relationships will fail.  We see the evidence all around us.  However, there is always a question of whether or not they need to fail.  Rarely can one person do all of the heavy lifting in the healing process.  Sometimes, one person may need to exercise great patience and focus on self-improvement while waiting for a partner to sign on to the project.  Relationship therapy is most effective when there is a united awareness of the need to change the process, and a mutual commitment to the goal of healing.  When approached from that perspective, nearly every realtionship can be strengthened, enriched, and you will certainly  experience greater peace and satisfaction.